The Madness Within
by Bittersweet Memories
Summary: A young Severus Snape contemplates throwing himself off the astronomy tower, while battling with an ever growing sense of madness. Possibly one shot. R & R. Flames Accepted.


Disclamer: JK Rowling owns everything. Including book 6. Damn her.  
Description: A young Severus Snape contemplates throwing himself off the astronomy tower, while battling with an ever growing sense of madness. One shot. R & R. Flames Accepted.  
  
The Madness Within.  
  
Standing here, looking out over the lake puts everything in a different perspective. It all looks so.. Peaceful. So tranquil. The near motionless water, with its smooth ripples which when stared at for too long, start to partially hypnotize. It's as if it's asking me, pleading with me not to disturb its serene surface, ergo breaking its façade of placidity, and waking the beast within.  
  
It's ironic really, how I can almost hear it. 'Please Severus, don't do it. Don't be a fool! Doing this won't prove anything, will it?'  
  
Stop this, Severus. You're losing your mind. Reasoning, with an inanimate object! A lake!.. of all the things.. I'd have thought you were above this. I think that admitting such a large expanse of your mind has left you, as you are to quarrel with objects, is enough reason to throw yourself off this tower, don't you?  
  
But.. Perhaps the notion it conveys _is_ right. Should I be doing this at all? I mean..  
  
No. There's no way I'm turning back now. I'm already half way down the pathway to hell, fire springing behind my every step. Its as if I've taken one step over the threshold, a solitary step too far. But even one negligible step can make a lot of difference. A step off this tall tower, for example, could be the difference between life, and death.  
  
There's nothing here to hold me back. No bars to cage my physical form, and no family or friends who care in the slightest. No-one to whom I've bound my soul, offered the moon and the stars in lifelong adoration. No-one to weep as my disfigured corpse is dragged out of the lake, and no-one to wish they'd prevented me from such a fate, persuaded me not to do it. No. Only laughter at my departing.  
  
If there were, they would have noticed what's been going on. They'd have certainly noticed my ever descending spiral into madness, and tried in some way to prevent it. If anyone had even the most diminutive amount feelings for me, they would have stood by me, and not watched on silently at the sidelines, barely caring as I was continually ridiculed and mocked.  
  
But I know the truth now, and I'm am thankful for it. Better to die knowing the truth, than to live a life shrouded in lies and self deception. That wouldn't be much of a life at all, would it?  
  
It's amusing how we abuse the fragility of life isn't it? Humans act as though they're indestructible, as if they have ultimate power, but still, no wizard or muggle alike can bring back the dead. Not one can resurrect those they have lost. But that's not always a bad thing, is it?  
  
'It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean.'  
  
Go on _Snivellu_s. Ugh.. I can hear them now; their moronic laughter boring a hole in my brain. Not one of them would feel anything but happiness if I died. It'd all be just another joke to them. Should I even think of giving them the satisfaction?  
  
Stop it, Severus. You're trying to get out of this. For once in your pitiful life, stop being a coward and get something right. Make your father proud.  
  
'Severus? What are you doing here?'  
  
'Oh, I.. I'm sorry Sir, I couldn't sleep so I just came up here to enjoy the view.'  
  
'Well Severus, I suggest you return to your dormitory before I am forced to take house points.'  
  
'Yes sir.Goodnight.'  
  
'Goodnight, Severus.'  
  
Well. There's always tomorrow.  
  


FIN  
  
Well, that was my 3rd ever fanfiction. Forgive me for the gap of about a year between this one and my previous attempts at writing, but I don't seem to have much of a muse.  
Liked it? Hated it? Leave a comment to let me know how y'feel.  
  
I do appologize for the quality of this fanfiction. Seen as it is being written at 5am, and that I haven't even attempted writing anything for just under a year, I think it turned out OK. But, please try to take that into account be bening constructively critical  
Thank you.  
  
Bittersweet Memories. 


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